Apex.

Perhaps composure is not the absence of tenderness. We often mistake emotional distance for strength because distance is easier to maintain than discernment. It asks little of us: do not react, do not attach, do not let things reach too deeply. But there is another kind of steadiness, the kind that allows something to matter without allowing it to govern you. To remain soft without becoming fragile. To care without becoming possessed. To be moved without being carried away. Perhaps detachment was never meant to make us indifferent. Perhaps it was meant to teach us how to hold things without needing to own them. Perhaps.

Dysfunctional families raise volatile children. These are kids who will either have their life in ruins or cope with their trauma by chasing success. These kids grow up to be the most unbearable people you can live with. The trauma they are trying to put…

Dysfunctional families raise volatile children. These are kids who will either have their life in ruins or cope with their trauma by chasing success. These kids grow up to be the most unbearable people you can live with. The trauma they are trying to put under a hole takes their own soul to be buried. These are self centred, compulsive narcissists. Their insecurities are all that matters and everything else is just peripheral noise... To the people who are obsessively attracted to money, fame, sex and power. Maybe the thing that makes you feel complete is not endless money or a supermodel for a girlfriend. You might just need a bloody therapist.

There is a quiet freedom in entertaining the possibility that this world is not the final reality. Not because it diminishes life, but because it restores proportion. The praise of strangers, the fear of failure, the endless pursuit of more, these lose their tyranny when viewed from a greater horizon. Whether existence is ultimate reality or merely its reflection is a question that has occupied philosophers for millennia. I do not claim to possess its answer. What I have discovered is this: If life is a stage, then I will honor my role. If it is a dream, I will dream with integrity. If it is reality itself, I will meet it with the same sincerity. Wisdom is not found in escaping the world, but in refusing to become possessed by it. Play your part with excellence. Hold your victories lightly. Accept your losses gracefully. Then, regardless of what reality ultimately is, you will have lived well. (Pondering, and seeing where it takes me.)

The Sage of Middle Way : Nagarjuna. One suffers for a self that cannot be found. Is that not strange? Search honestly. Do you find this “I” in the flesh? Cells die and replace. Do you find it in thought? A thought appears, fades, replaced by another. Do you find it in memory? Memories shift like sand. When nothing stays, where is this solid “me” you protect? Like a chariot made from pods, the self is only a name. Take away the pots, nothing remains to grasp. So when others praise you, who exactly is praised? When they reject you, who is rejected? Mask or no mask, both depend on conditions. Neither is true, neither false. Each only appears because the other can. Seeing this, you stop clinging to identity, and you stop fearing judgment. This is the MIDDLE WAY. Not claimimg I exist , not claiming I do not exist But seeing all things as dependently arisen , empty yet functioning , in this understanding , the world loses its power to wound and freedom quietly appears.

Does Existence Truly Precedes Essence - Jean-Paul Sartre said existence precedes essence. That humans arrive in the world as blank slates. No fixed nature, no pre-written soul. You exist first. Then you create yourself through your choices. He called this…

Does Existence Truly Precedes Essence - Jean-Paul Sartre said existence precedes essence. That humans arrive in the world as blank slates. No fixed nature, no pre-written soul. You exist first. Then you create yourself through your choices. He called this radical freedom. You are condemned to be free. You cannot escape choosing. Even doing nothing is a choice. It sounds liberating, and it is, but it also means you carry the full weight of everything you become. But there’s this question I have. If we are truly blank slates, where does the desire to create come from? Where does the longing for meaning come from? That longing itself feels like essence. Something already present before the first choice was ever made. And Sartre never escaped it either. He spent his entire life writing, fighting for justice, loving deeply, as if some things mattered more than others. As if there was something worth being true to. That is not the behavior of a blank slate. That sounds a lot like essence operating quietly underneath his own philosophy. Plato believed the soul carried its nature into the world before the body. Aristotle said every being has a telos, an inbuilt direction it is already moving toward. Eastern thought goes further still. The Atman, the self, the awareness, is not something you construct. It is something you uncover. It was always there. The fact that we cannot stop asking where our longing comes from, is that not essence already proving itself?

Unlike the ancient Egyptians, we do not know how to master the consciousness of death by moulding it creatively. Modern men lives in a state of constant despair unknown to the ancients. We suffer from the uninspired, even stifled happiness within us. For all happiness is an awareness of the non-existence of death, is a wondrous and joyous realization that there is no death. It is the role of art, and always has been, to, imbue us at certain moments with this happiness of the non- existence of death. How does it happen then that these moments are be- coming more and more rare, that people are less and less amenable to creatively liberating rapture?

To all the women who bleed, During your period or the cursed days before and after, your mind becomes a traitor. It whispers lies with the confidence of truth. It tells you that you are not enough, that your worth is shrinking, that the people around you will eventually see through you and leave. But I know this game well: the brain is a master illusionist. Its tricks are cruel, but temporary. I refuse to bow to every shadow it casts. So should you. When the storm of doubt rises, I remind myself: my mind may be dramatic, but I am not its victim. Insecurities may knock, but I do not answer the door. If self-doubt is a ghost, then I am the exorcist. These are not pleas but reminders that I am stronger than the thoughts that haunt me. I am enough, more than enough, and sometimes my strength terrifies even me. Bleeding does not make me weak; it proves my endurance. Pain is fleeting, but my resilience is carved into bone. A storm in my head cannot sink the ship of who I am. And though my brain may try to undo me with whispers of despair, I remember this: shadows lie, but I remain. So, I do not destroy myself. I do not destroy what I love. Instead, I endure. I sharpen. I rise. Because doubt is mortal but I am not so easily undone.

A worm exists in the dirt. Unnoticed and uncared for. Blind - unable to accurately perceive the world around him. Ugly and unloved. If you see a dead dog in the street, it sparks emotion. If you see a dead worm, you don’t care. Nobody does. There isn’t a single fable in history which has described the valor of a worm. Or a worm's courage. In fact, There are no stories about worms at all. They are insignificant to the pages of history and disappear from thought the second they are destroyed. Even children chop them up for fun. The musings of a worm are of no interest to anybody. Nobody cares if a worm is happy or sad. Watch a lion in the jungle and stare into his wizened eyes, you will wonder what he thinks. Nobody cares about the thoughts of a worm. Nobody wonders what a worm is contemplating. Nobody asks for the opinion of a worm. Nobody thinks: “What would a worm do?” The worm is ultimately pathetic. On every measurable level. And you sir. Are a worm.

Peace Most people think peace means having no problems. They think once they fix everything in their life, they’ll finally feel calm. But that’s not how peace works. Peace isn’t about perfect circumstances. It’s about how you handle whatever’s happening. You can be going through hard times and still feel peaceful inside. You can have chaos around you and still find calm within yourself. Because real peace doesn’t depend on everything going right , that is control. You need not have control on external problems but yourself. True peace happens when you stop waiting for life to be perfect. When you stop needing everyone else to act a certain way. When you stop thinking you’ll be okay only after everything falls into place. The truth is, something will always be wrong. Life will always have problems. Peace comes when you decide you’re going to be okay anyway. It’s not about controlling what happens to you. It’s about controlling how you respond to what happens.

Hindi : जर्मनी में एक दार्शनिक हुआ Eckhart नामक, वह मानता था की प्रशंसा करने के लिए अगर हम अर्थ खोजते है की वह मुझसे गरीब है , हमे ईश्वर ने धनवान एवं शक्तिशाली बनाया है अतः हमे आभारी होना चाहिए किंतु यह प्रशंसा नहीं , स्वयं के मैं को बढ़ावा देना मात्र है , हमे तो हर दिन आभारी होना चाहिए , हम जीवित है यह कोई कम चमत्कार है क्या ? अंग्रेजी में बोले तो : an appreciation of the ‘is-ness’ of this moment. Eckhart रोज़ सुबह प्रार्थना मे कहता था कि आज फिर सुबह हुई आज फिर सूरज निकला , नहीं निकलता तो क्या होता मैं इसके लिए आभारी हूँ , कहता है कि आज साँस आ रही है कल ना आती है तो क्या होता तुम साँस लें तो ना सकोगे साँस तुम्हारे वश में नहीं है , तुम्हारे इतने पास है साँस फिर भी तुम उसके मालिक नहीं हो । गई बाहर न लौट ती , तो क्या होता? जो साँस हमारे इतने पास है हम उसके भी ज्ञाता और मालिक नहीं है और हमें यह लगता है कि हम सब जानते हैं। English : In Germany, there was a philosopher , theologist and saint named Eckhart. He believed that if we seek reasons for giving thanks such as, “That person is poorer than me, God has made me wealthy and powerful, therefore I should be grateful,” then that is not true appreciation - it is merely the inflation of one’s own ego. We should be grateful every single day. Is the fact that we are alive any less of a miracle? an appreciation of the “is-ness” of this moment. Eckhart, in his morning prayer, would say: Today the morning has come again, today the sun has risen again - what if it hadn’t ? For this, I am grateful. He would say: Today I am breathing. What if tomorrow the breath didn’t come? You would not be able to breathe since the breath is not in your control. It is so close to you, yet you are not its master. Once it goes out and does not return - what then? Even the breath, which is so near to us, we are neither its knower nor its owner, and yet we think we know everything.

I often listen to Osho. Some of his discourses are in Hindi and it is better said in Hindi , if I translate it will loose its charm. If I post some articles inspired by him in Hindi Is there any problem?

I sometimes laugh on inside. When mere humans try to protect their religions , extremist Hindus often say Hinduism is in danger , we must save it. However saving Hinduism is not your job , your job is to practice it , you cannot even do that thus you prefer to worship or visit a temple for repentance instead of following the dharma because it is comparatively hard. Is your god capable of protecting himself? If he is , then you should practice your religion quietly. Although he is not capable , let me tell you a story Long time ago , Rajputs of Rajasthan and Gujarat offered the priests in Somnath that they want to protect it. Priests rejected it citing “now you will protect the one who protects everyone?” , the Rajputs too feared the God , they withdrew the forces. Next day , Ghori came , looted temple 17 times , broke the damn statues into 4 pieces. I am happy though that Rajputs didn’t waste their precious life saving such weak god.

Smart stuff.

Beggars are quite uncivilised I must say. I often distribute food at brick furnaces (Bhatta) , most of time , they give a smile and take , they take and be grateful. Sometimes , few children and their moms try to snatch it away even though they will get one if they stand patiently and even if they don’t , it will be a normal day. I truly understand that mothers are beautiful beings , maybe she had some reasons , maybe her child was being starved but she should develop an acceptance that no one around her earned the food , I am distributing it on my will and capacity , and even if she doesn’t get one , it wont cost her hard-work because it wasn’t meant for her anyways I just happened to visit her and gave out of my goodness. No one shall starve in front of my eyes as long it is in my capacity , but poor people too should have a degree of patience. I truly understand survival tops any kind of cardinal virtues but again I am not means of their survival , if they want to survive , get a labour contract or small part-time job.

Thing is , I don’t understand why is lust and intercourse is so demanded in India. Why are Indian men obsessed , is it because there are less brothels? No they are poor and afraid , thats why all they do is to watch porn and comment on IG. They try hard to be provider but never a good human being. I mean it is very basic thing that demand creates supply , why is it hard for men to understand? They say , women have forgotten the roots , half naked posting things but are the even 1% consumers women? The day you start watching women recite scriptures , the number of women doing it will rise drastically. I am very atheist to core , I hate Extremist Hindus most right now , then others. They are destroying culture , retard your porn consumer market is second to none. I don’t even ask men to fix themselves , let women create what is demanded , just don’t be goody shoes when they do. Written by a man.

Let me teach you something people often misunderstand. They say, 'Never be kind to the wrong person you’ll regret it.' But regret only exists when your actions depend on outcomes. True strength lies in doing something not because it benefits you, but because it aligns with your will. I am kind when I choose to be Not because you deserve it, Not because I expect anything in return, But because it is my choice. Betray me, lie to me, take advantage of me that is your nature. But my kindness that is mine. And I do not change who I am just because the world fails to meet my expectations. In a world of schemers and betrayers, to remain untouched to be kind by will, not by hope That is not weakness. That is control. That is strength.

Is it nihilistic for me to think that All of the 7 cardinal virtues, are nothing but a derivative for our own will to exist in a sin-free environment. Cuz our brain gets this weird idea that it'll get treated the same way it treats the outer world. Perhaps All of morality is just a carefully constructed facade so that society remains functional.