Qoara-

My soul was made for so much more than my hometown has to offer.

خیلی درمونده‌ام، خیلی.

🐡

قشنگ ترین کارت پستال‌های دنیا🐎🥂

یاسمین رو دیگه تقریبا می‌شناسم! اسمش رو که بین سفارش‌ها می‌بینم کلی ذوق می‌کنم. همیشه خیلی با سلیقه آیتم های سرو رو برای خودش انتخاب می‌کنه و موقع بسته‌بندی سفارشش خیلی بهم خوش می‌گذره. وقتی بسته‌هاش می‌رسن، زودی بهم پیام می‌ده کلی باهم حرف می‌زنیم و ذوق می‌کنیم، و می‌تونم بگم بعد از خوندن پیام‌هاش و دیدن عکس‌های قشنگش تقریبا کل خستگیم از بین می‌ره و یک “آخیش” کل وجودم رو فرا می‌گیره! خوشحالم که انسان های جالبی مثل یاسمین وجود دارن🌟

And I can go anywhere I want anywhere I want, just not home!

So for once in my life let me get what I want.

(Today you asked me: “If you could leave, would you ever come back to see me again?!” And that’s such a strange question because I don’t want to break your heart and I don’t want you to know what’s going on in my head. So I just told you:“If you missed me and wanted to, you could come and see me yourself.”)

The only way I have for all those things in my head is to let go and leave. To leave and never come back. To leave without looking back. As if nothing had ever existed before that. Maybe it sounds hard or maybe it really is hard, but I know it’s better than what I’m getting right now. Sometimes I get really tired. Sometimes I just deal with it. But deep down, I know that leaving is the only thing that can help me! But I know I probably never will be able to. Not because I don’t want to!! I just can’t. It’s not possible for me. I don’t think it is. The more I think, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” the more I make myself believe it. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll find another way to deal with it. I really don’t know anymore. And the fact that I don’t know anymore exhausts me more than ever. I wish there were a book or some kind of guide for these feelings, maybe then I wouldn’t have gotten so lost in all the different paths.

“So you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal”