Hayma's World

https://substack.com/@haymanotg/note/c-179644881?r=61luz5&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

https://youtu.be/8viu7vXNTNk?si=sKZ9qSW_4VDT0xnX

Thoughts of 3 PM, Sunday Afternoon ▪️ I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again, the person I am on a slow Sunday morning that is who I truly am. It's all me. Completely and absolutely. It's me and the stillness. the serenity, the podcasts, the thoughts, the silence, the exhilaration. It's me in my habitat. It's me and home. The smell in the air. It's mine. I really think it's all mine. ▪️ At times, I hate how the reality of something fails to live up to the idea of it. But then again an idea is perfect. It’s whatever you want it to be and more. Whereas reality is much more… real if you will. Raw. And true. And it will take you by surprise. It will disappoint you mostly or pleasantly surprise you. ▪️ I think if I ever get a chance to give a giant acceptance speech for something amazing that I've done. I will definitely be taking time out to thank my gut. I mean I made stupid decisions most of the time yet every once in a while, my gut gets a feeling about something. It just knows. And every time I've leaned in to it, it has served me well. It has allowed me to make decisions not out of fear (a mistake that I've made many times in the past) but despite it. ▪️ Next week is going to be busy. The list of things I’m procrastinating on is starting to scare me. ▪️ A friend shared one of Warsan Shire’s poem on Instagram. And then I googled whatever I could find by her online and devoured it. She slays with her words. Effortlessly. I want you to read 'Anger'. It’s my newest favorite, right next to her famous 'For Women who are difficult to love' obviously. ▪️ Addis's album is meh but there is still something hauntingly beautiful about this performance of ብቻ ነይ እንጂ. Until again next time. 💛💛

https://substack.com/@haymanotg/note/p-177088485?r=61luz5&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

አንዳንድ ነገሮች: Thoughts of 9 AM, Tuesday Morning ▪️ A friend forwarded me a piece I wrote six years ago and reading it felt like hugging a younger version of myself. She was so open, so free with her words and emotions. She loved love, being in love and writing about it. I envy her now. I envy her heart. I hope she comes back someday. ▪️There was sth that Jo said when we were having lunch yesterday “There is always a little bit of us in our tragedy.” Words to live by but it made me wonder how much of a part have I played in my tragedy? I still need some more time to determine whether it even is a tragedy. ▪️It’s funny, isn’t it? How life rarely takes us where we plan to go and yet there’s sth exciting about that. ብቻ ወጣትነት ይገርማል not just the years, but the feeling: the dreams, the heart, the enthusiasm. ▪️I used to think time healed everything but the more i think about it, Time and human distress travel in parallel paths. Time does not heal. Human beings just get better at tolerating it. You get conditioned to the pain, making it a habitual part of your existence that puts an unstable mind into a more stable state. Human beings do not like an unstable state of mind. Time is relative to pain in the sense of making us more tolerable and later immune to what had hurt us before. ▪️Lately I’ve been thinking about how we are living in a state of constant overstimulation. Even those who don’t have ADHD, have started to develop ADHD tendencies. How many of us can sit in silence for 30 minutes with a single, focused thought? This isn’t medical supported narrative rather a personal opinion. But I do think we’re forgetting how to be still. How to be mindful. And it shows. ▪️I wanna LIVE inside of this song, The feeling I get from it consistently is insane. It’s like love but as a song. https://youtu.be/Wcw2JCNVtvQ?si=PI4IeglpbAc5-18_ Until again we meet. 💛💛

This was actually a fun one to write, sitting down and reflecting on everything 25 brought my way. From confusion to achievements to new beginnings… it was a lot but in the best way. Cheers to whatever 26 holds and make sure to check out the full article on substack. 💛 https://substack.com/@haymanotg/note/p-169587520?r=61luz5&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action https://substack.com/@haymanotg/note/p-169587520?r=61luz5&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

I just watched this really interesting conversation between Jay Shetty and Dr. Jandial about memory and it reminded me of this piece I wrote a while back about Alzheimer’s. Just shared it on Substack as my first post, would love for you to check it out and connect with me there. https://open.substack.com/pub/haymanotg/p/what-i-learned-about-alzheimers-through?r=61luz5&utm_medium=ios

Gyne sucked the life and happiness out of me. በምን ትዝ ብሎኝ ነው? እኔንጃ። But I just missed writing here and I wanna share one of the things I haven't tell anyone about till now. This piece is one part of my internship I never talk about. You won’t hear me reminiscing about gyne and if you know me, you’d understand how strange that is. I was always the delulu one the overly ገጣጣ intern who found joy in almost every corner of the hospital. The one who’d get excited about her morning rounds, the one who always started her days smiling. I loved internship. But in gyne, I was a different version of myself. One I didn’t recognize. Those 3 months broke me in every way possible. Emotionally. Physically. The environment was cold. Unwelcoming. I always felt like an outsider whenever I walked into the wards. I still remember my first night on duty because it felt like a test I was doomed to fail from the beginning. I was assigned at the emergency which is usually considered as the better side to be on compared to the labor ward. In the emergency, you can finish your tasks early if you admit patients for priming and induction and get some breathing space for the rest of the night. But that was not the case on my shift. We had two complicated patients. One a first trimester pregnant woman came with nephrotic syndrome which should have been admitted to internal medicine ward and we had to walk back and forth for consultation at least 4x that night and the senior resident checked in multiple times growing more frustrated each time "ዶክ አሁንም አልመጡም እንዴ? Consultation ግን ለጥፈሻል አይደል?” he said, eyes narrowing in suspicion... “አዎ ቅርብ ሰዓት ነው ሄጄ የመጣሁት” and then headed back to the IM ward again... probably a fifth trip in the night... Consultation መለጠፌን ላረጋግጥ *This is where you're supposed to giggle a bit. C'mon :D* And the other patient arrived past midnight around 8:30 a known chronic hypertensive patient who came with IUFD who we were not supposed to admit in the first place but the midwife told me to call the resident which I did and the next thing I did was put the patient on bed and putting the ultrasound probe to confirm the fetal heart beat and then came the moment I’ll never forget the year 2 resident clearly tired, frustrated maybe even a little angry because we called him in the middle of the night turned his frustration towards me. I know it wasn’t personal. I tell myself that even now. But in that moment it felt deeply personal. It felt like I was failing, like I didn’t belong, like I wasn’t enough. That night was the first time I questioned everything. My competence. My knowledge. My place in the hospital. It was the night I realized fear can be more suffocating than exhaustion. It was the night I learned that one person’s harsh words can echo louder than a hundred encouraging ones. Yessss, You don’t hear me talk about gyne often because gyne didn’t just challenge me it changed me from the very beginning. It took a cheerful, confident girl and slowly turned her into someone who doubted herself. But in a way, I’m glad it was my last attachment because if it had been the first, things might have turned out very differently. I don't really know why I'm writing this now but if there’s one thing I want you to take away it’s this: Medicine will break you not once but over and over again. But It will also teach you how to keep showing up. How to cry in silence and still smile in front of everyone. And They don't teach you that in textbooks but it's real and maybe just maybe, that's the beauty of it all.

Title: The Boyfriend Author: Freida McFadden Its always this is definitely the last Freida book I'm reading but somehow I always end up picking another one. And this time? It was 'The Boyfriend'. This book is about Sydney who's in her 30s and has a terible luck with dating. Just when she's ready to give up this mysterious and handsome guy walks into her life who seems like Mr. Perfect. But... is he really? One thing I enjoy about reading Freida's books is how you think you've figured everything out, you will find yourself thinking that you have nailed the plot line and she will give you hints that will make you think you figured it all out but then she hits you with a twist you never saw coming. That said, the writing in this one felt a bit rushed and overly simple. Some parts of the story felt unnecessary and extremely far fetched... like the number of coincidences was a bit much. But still if you're in a reading slump and want sth quick and easy to read, this is a good pick. Not my favorite from her, but it definitely delivered on the suspense.

Title: The Courage to be Disliked Author: Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga This book had been sitting on my shelf for months. Then I saw Betty tweet about it and decided to pick it up. I'm so glad I did, there couldn't have been a better time for me to read it than now. The book is written in a dialogue format between a young man who was dissatisfied with life and a philosopher. When I first saw that it was written as a dialogue, I was like mehh I've never really been into plays but as I kept reading I found myself relating to most of the young man's questions, doubting the same things and confused. Their dialogue spans for five nights and here are my biggest takeaways broken down by each night of their dialogue: Starting from the introduction, I loved how the young man opened their discussion by asking a question we’ve all wondered at some point; "Do you believe that the world is in all ways a simple place?" It’s one of those questions that makes you pause and just like that, you know the book is about to take you deeper. The first night of their discussion introduces us to Alfred Adler, a psychiatrist who lived in the early 20th century and whose ideas form the foundation of this book. 1. The first night: Unhappiness is something you choose for yourself Like the young man, I found myself confused during the first night of their discussion. The philosopher makes a bold generalization, claiming that “trauma doesn’t exist” which honestly felt like a huge oversimplification to me. He quotes Adler here “No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences the so called trauma but instead make out of them whatever suits our purpose.” That was a wait, what? moment for me. But as you keep reading, the deeper message starts to make more sense. We should stop thinking that our past determines our present and future and we are completely free in the present to choose our emotions and goals. 2. The second night: All problems are Interpersonal Problems This chapter made me stop and think a lot. Let me quote the philosopher here "If one were alone in the universe and all other people were gone, all manner of problems would disappear.” Adler believed that all personal problems are actually interpersonal relationship problems. Think about it stress, anxiety, anger, jealousy... most of it stems from how we relate or fail to relate to others. 3. The third night: Deny the desire for recognition Here’s where it gets a little uncomfortable but freeing at the same time. The philosopher tells the young man that in order to live authentically, we have to let go of the desire for recognition. The philosopher gives a powerful example here; imagine you’ve been picking up litter around your workplace, but no one notices or acknowledges it. Would you keep doing it? The young man admits he might stop. The philosopher responds, saying that wishing so hard to be recognized actually limits our freedom and we will end up living a version of our lives shaped by what others expect. 4. The Fourth & Fifth night: Live like you’re dancing I feel like their final meeting pulls everything together. From their discussion on the fifth night I love the part where the philosopher says Think of life as a dance. When you dance with a partner, you may end up somewhere different than where you started, but moving from starting point to the end point isn't the goal. Dancing is the goal. Life is similar we should focus on the journey, not the destination. Final Thoughts on Why You Need to Read this Book The book is easy to read and the way it has been delivered being written in a dialogue form makes it accessible. It really made me question the things i believed in and discovered that we are freudian thinkers by default, It makes you see things in a different perspective so I'll recommend it to anyone looking to rediscover themselves and the way they think about the world. Have you read this book? What did you feel about it? Let me know in the comments 😊

YOLLLLOOO So here's what happened... It’s been over a month since your girl officially finished med school. And honestly I really thought I’d be living my post grad fantasy by now. You know those dreams of having 14 hour naps, binging your entire watchlist, romanticizing your “healing era” with zero guilt. But life, hehe lifeeee she doesn’t come with a play button for such scenarios I think. She showed up early in the morning and said “It's a new day honey and we've got some responsibilities.” You know how we all make those post grad plans righttt? Once I graduate, I'll finally start this, No wait that, Actually I better start working on that business plan I have been considering for a while, Or hit the gym? Or learn a random new skill? እንደዛ ይሻላል? How about my new job? Hehe turns out the hardest part isn’t doing the thing…. its figuring out which thing deserves your energy first. ግን ምንድነው... you don’t need to figure it all out right now. You can let things unfigure before they refigure and that's called growth or being delulu whichever feels right lol 😁 Anyway plot twist, I did start sth. I’ve always wanted a little space to share the books I read, the songs I listen to, the podcasts I fall in love with and everything in between. So here it is. My cozy little corner of the internet. This isn’t about writing formal reviews or sounding all professional and literary. Its just me sharing what I find interesting, helpful, weird or occasionally what made me cry at midnight. So if you’re down for some unfiltered bookish ramblings and suggestions join me here at t.me/OnCall_OffPages Stick around and read along Let’s make this corner fun… even if we’re still figuring the rest of things out. 😁

Endet walachihu beautiful people We are excited to share that we have made some great progress with our Abergile Wereda library project. We have collected 189 books and 72 textbooks so far but we still need more to fully support the initiative. This is a big project and your continued support will make a huge difference. So please keep those donations coming. Thank you to everyone who has reached out and donated books in the last 3 days, you all are so amazing. And a special thank you to Tesfagebriel Tekola for the generous donation of books worth 5000 birr. You’re truly one of a kind! ❤️ If anyone else would like to donate books or learn more about the project please don’t hesitate to reach out @yohans0 or @haymana_g Thank you! 😊

Endet ameshachu Beautiful people A friend of mine (Yohannes, @yohans0) has an inspiring initiative to support students in Wag himra zone, Abergele Woreda who has been deeply affected by the ongoing challenges of war. The area has suffered a significant damage and as a result students there have limited access to educational resources like textbooks and references which are crucial for their academic growth. To address this issue my friend is planning to build a library that will provide these students with much needed access to books and learning materials. This library will not only support academic development but also help nurture a love for reading and learning among the youth. So we are now accepting donations of all types of book- academic textbooks, reference materials, fictions, stories, magazines and anything that could enrich their knowledge. So If you have any books you would like to donate please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I can personally come to pick them up from your location. Thank you! 😊

"Would you go back 7 and a half years and do things differently?" he asked. I took a deep breath... "The carousel of life never stops turning. We can’t get off." Would I go back and change some things? Maybe. Maybe not. The truth is I don’t know. What I do know is that this is a goodbye to everything i held close to my heart for 7 and a half years. To all my friends, to the ones I have built a life with laughed and cried, loved and despised I pray for your success and happiness in all that you do. To the people i lost and to the people i still have in my life for better or worse I hope our paths will cross again someday. To my dorm girliez, who have kept me safe and grounded all these years you were my sanctuary. I’ll forever be grateful for you guys thank you for the shared memories, the late night talks and the quiet moments. To all the mother betoch, who kept us fed who provided more than just food but also a sense of belonging. The walls of those spaces still echo with the laughter of friends ከኮሪደር ልማት ይጠብቃችሁ። 😊 To Momma, who has always been by my side you’ve been my constant source of motivation. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. You always wanted me to be a doctor and now I am. I hope I’ve made you proud. And to my internship year - the year that pushed me to my limits and in the process, helped me discover who I am. I never thought I’d say this but it’s the year I miss most. I’ll miss the adrenaline rush, the chaotic days, the late night duty dinners and the best group of colleagues one could ask for. It wasn’t easy but we always found a way through. With all its pain and beauty, the laughter and the tear. I’ll miss it all. And to Paulos, you were good to me but its time. With this I'm excited to see what the future holds for me, because "the carousel never stops turning." Dr. Haymanot Girma (your fav intern is officially a doctor now. 😊)

I have a playlist on YouTube that’s not very organized, you might find Nicki Minaj’s Red Ruby Da sleez right after a soft and soothing song like Rachel Chinouriri’s So My Darling. But every song on it has carried me through tough times. I’m rarely grateful for anything, but music is the exception. Andualem’s new album made it into my playlist because I can almost taste the bittersweet melancholy whenever he sings Mare Maree ,Hiriya Lubu and daddaysa with Teemar Gizaw. His songs make me understand those people on YouTube, that always commented, “I’m not even Oromo, but I love this song.” Yeah I don’t speak Oromigna, yet the way I clung to his music felt like an obsession. That’s how powerful he was, his voice, the melodies, I never got tired of them, since the album came out. But what is fame? What is talent? What is creating an incredible album without character? Trust,I wouldn’t care if he was rude to the world as long as he was kind to his partner, the person he chose to share his life with. I don’t expect everyone to be nice all the time,we all choose when and to whom to be nice with, But kindness itself? That’s something everyone should have. የወደደ፣ የታመነ፣ እጅ የሰጠ ላይ የሚጎፈጥጥ ደካማ ነው። ድካሙም ቀን ጠብቆ ይጥለዋል። It breaks my heart to say this, but I’m doing this for her, for Keneni I’m muting him from now on. If you truly care, you would do the same. #justiceforkeneni