azmssv's insights️

"Derman arardım derdime, derdim bana derman imiş."

Hayatimin en mutlu aniymiş bilemiyordum. -Masumiyet Müzesi

What I love about chess is that it doesn’t rush you. You sit down, you play, you win or lose, and you walk away a little different than before. Slowly. Quietly. Without fanfare. My ELO was 135 when I started, five years ago. At some point it climbed to 1635. Now it’s sitting near a thousand, mostly thanks to cheaters. But honestly? Even that feels like part of the story. The games I remember most aren’t the wins. They’re the ones where I lost badly, got angry, and then sat up late watching chess on YouTube; falling asleep mid-video, exhausted, but somehow still absorbing something. Those nights mattered. Not because I became a better player overnight, but because I was starting to understand what losing actually costs you. And what winning actually means. That weight is hard to explain until you’ve felt it.