Caffeine

همیشه ساعت 2 شب مث قدیما دلم سیگار و یه پنجره می خواد ...

ای شهرِ شحنه‌خیز چه مشکوکی چه کافه‌های خلوت متروکی گردوی سرنوشت چرا پوکی؟ از روز و روزگار گریزانم.

For me it was important to be alone; solitude was a prerequisite to being openly and joyfully susceptible and responsive to the world of leaves, light, birdsong, flowers, flowing water..

When James Baldwin said "Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: one day I will go home."

It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.

"I also am other than what I imagine myself to be. To know this is forgiveness."

Now here you go again You say you want your freedom Well, who am I to keep you down?

همیشه ساعت 2 شب مث قدیما دلم سیگار و یه پنجره می خواد ...

It's summer now, and you're craving a simpler existence. You want to read. You want to write. You want to meet strangers for dinner, and not refuse another drink at another bar. You want to dance. You want to find yourself in a basement, neck loose, bobbing…

It's summer now, and you're craving a simpler existence. You want to read. You want to write. You want to meet strangers for dinner, and not refuse another drink at another bar. You want to dance. You want to find yourself in a basement, neck loose, bobbing your head as a group of musicians play, not because they should, but because they must. It's summer now, and you're looking forward to worrying less. You're looking forward to longer nights and shorter days. You're looking forward to gathering in back gardens and watching meat sputter on an open barbecue. You're looking forward to laughing so hard your chest hurts and you feel light-headed. You're looking forward to the safety in pleasure. You're looking forward to forgetting, albeit briefly, the existential dread which plagues you, which tightens your chest, which pains your left side.

همیشه ساعت 2 شب مث قدیما دلم سیگار و یه پنجره می خواد ...

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you...

"I, too, remember the feeling. You are caught between all that was and all that must be. You feel lost."

قابل بحث ندارم سخنى، خاموشم و در اين يخزده ايام هياهويم نيست. بودنم پوشاليست و رگ عمر عزيز ميزند، لیک درونش خاليست..

I'm far away from home...

The fear of how you are seen, the fear of what you are, is solved by accepting it all the way: you are seen in all possible ways at all times, which means you really are all possible beings at all times.

همیشه ساعت 2 شب مث قدیما دلم سیگار و یه پنجره می خواد ...

یک سنی، به خصوص بعد از بعضی ناملایمات، آدم یک چیز بیشتر دلش نمی‌خواهد: این‌که ولش کنند راحت باشد. حتی از این هم بهتر: جوری رفتار کنند که انگار مرده‌ای. قصر به قصر لویی فردینان سلین