Muslims Marriage Tips

Umm Kulthum bint Abu Bakr used to say: “I prayed to Allāh to bless me with a husband who would pour love on me in abundance and worship Allāh a lot, so Allāh blessed me with Talha ibn Ubaidullāh (one of those who was promised Paradise).” The Salaf reported from her that she said: “If he saw me, he would rejoice, when he heard my voice, he would smile, when I smiled and if I cried, he would cry. He would not sleep until he was reassured that I was warm in my bed, and he would not leave a prayer without praying for me in it before himself. If I became ill, he would share my pain as though the illness was in his body, and he would not be at ease until he made me sit next to him. Whenever he ate, he would start with a morsel to my mouth and feed me with his hand. I was his pride and honour in secret and in public.” [سير أعلام النبلاء] Note: Never stop asking Allāh ﷻ for a righteous spouse. May Allāh make us righteous as we wish our spouse to be righteous, and grant us istiqāmah, آمين.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “If a woman prays her five, fasts her month, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Jannah from any gate you wish.”[Ahmad] If your knowledge makes you arrogant toward your husband, then it is not beneficial knowledge. Beneficial knowledge increases you in humility, in gratitude, in mercy. It softens you. It doesn’t harden you against the people who carried you to it. Your ijaazah isn’t your ticket to Jannah. His pleasure — after Allah’s — is. So thank him. Teach him if he asks, and do it with mercy. Make Duaa for him. But never let the blessing of knowledge become the burden that weighs your marriage down. Because sometimes, the man who can’t pronounce Al-Fatiha perfectly… is the reason Allah let you fall in love with it at all. “They are garments for you and you are garments for them.” [2:187] Don’t forget where you started. And don’t forget who held the door open when you did. #copied

*The Ibadah You Couldn’t See* Amal and Hishaam married young, and they were happy. Truly happy. He worked double shifts to keep their small flat warm. She made his chai with extra elaichi, no sugar — just how he loved it. After Maghrib they’d sit on the floor, laughing over burnt rice and big, messy dreams. Then Allah opened a door for Amal. “Come to the halaqah,” a sister told her. She went once. Then again. Then she couldn’t stop. Her world lit up. Tajweed finally made sense. Idghaam, ikhfaa, qalqalah — her tongue tasted the Qur’an differently. She learned fiqh, aqeedah, seerah. She was sharp. She aced every test. “MashaAllah, Amal, you’re gifted,” her teachers said. Juz ‘Amma became Juz Tabarak. Then Surah Al-Baqarah. The Qur’an was flowing through her, and she couldn’t get enough. But at home, something cooled. *The Gap* It started in Salah. Hishaam led. His “Alhamdulillahi Rabbil ‘Aalameen” wobbled. Seen and Saad got tangled. No madd. No ghunnah. Her Khushu’ vanished. All she heard were mistakes. Then in conversation. She’d share a hadith on wudhu. He’d blink. “SubhanAllah, I didn’t know that.” She quoted Ibn al Qayyim. He smiled… but she saw it — he was lost. Irritation crept in like smoke. “How does he not know this? Doesn’t he care about Deen?” She corrected him mid-bite at dinner. He went quiet. She sighed when he asked her to “explain the ruling of interest again.” The man who used to make her laugh until her stomach hurt now felt… small. *The Complaint* One evening at halaqah, she pulled Apa aside. “Apa, there’s this gap now. I’m learning, I’m growing… but Hishaam is stuck. His Tajweed is weak. He doesn’t know basic rulings. I feel like I’m being pulled down. I wanted a husband who would elevate me, but instead…” Apa said nothing at first. She poured tea. Extra elaichi. No sugar. “Amal,” she finally asked, “who pays for your halaqah?” “…Hishaam.” “Who swaps his night shift so you can attend class?” “Hishaam.” “Who bought you that Mushaf with the color-coded Tajweed rules you love so much?” Amal looked down. “Who made Dua for you the night you finished Surah Al-Baqarah — even though he’s still working through Juz ‘Amma?” Amal’s throat tightened. Apa took her hand. “Do you know what your husband’s Ibadah looks like, beta? His worry for Halal sustenance is Ibadah. Him placing a morsel in your mouth with love is Sadaqah. Him never raising his voice at you is really acing the test. His Jihad is biting his tongue when you correct him, because he doesn’t want to dim your light.” She squeezed Amal’s fingers. “You think he’s behind you. Wallahi, he’s beneath you, holding you up. He may not know the rules of madd, but he lives the rule of sacrifice. And maybe his broken ‘Rabbil ‘Aalameen’ weighs more with Allah than your perfect ghunnah laced with pride.” *The Return* That night, Hishaam led Isha. He stumbled over “Iyyaka nasta’een.” Amal’s chest squeezed — but this time, it wasn’t annoyance. It was shame. After salam, she didn’t correct him. She whispered, “JazakAllahu khayran for leading us, Hishaam. May Allah accept from you.” He looked up, startled. Then he smiled — that old, boyish smile she’d missed. “Was it… okay?” “It was beautiful,” she said. And for the first time, she meant it. Later, she passed the kitchen. From his phone, a Tajweed app was playing. “Qul huwa Allahu ahad…” he repeated, softly, trying to get the qalqalah right. He was trying. For her. For Allah. So, Dear Sister… Do you realize how blessed you are? You have a husband who isn’t threatened by your growth. He funds it. He protects it. He celebrates it, even if it means you’re sprinting ahead while he’s still learning to walk. Don’t let Shaytan whisper, “You deserve someone better.” That’s the Devil’s Deception. He’ll use your knowledge, your Qur’an, your “closeness to Allah” to make you look down on the very man Allah used to bring you close to Him.

'Abdullāh b. 'Utbah b. Mas'ūd رحمه الله: ❝The evilest of Nikāḥ (marriage contract) is the secret one.”❞ ‎● [صحيح ، مصنف ابن أبي شيبة ١٧١٩٤]

Prophet ﷺ said: "Fasting will intercede for the slave on the Day of Judgment." ● [صحيح الترغيب ٩٨٠]

Abū al-‘Āliyah Raḥimahullāh (a senior Tābi'ī) said: "The fasting person is in a state of worship as long as he doesn’t backbite." ‎● [المصنف لابن أبي شيبة]

Ibn Qayyim رحمه الله said: “Men are more protective over their daughters than women are. So a father’s jealousy over his daughter is never the same as a mother’s jealousy. Many mothers may assist their daughters in following their desires due to their own weak judgment, quickness to be deceived, and a weaker instinct of jealousy in their nature, unlike the father.” زاد المعاد (5/474)

MARRIAGE IS GIVE AND TAKE 1. When a wife is humble, she becomes a natural charm to her husband. 2. When a wife is submissive, she gets what she desires from her husband. 3. When a wife is trustworthy, she can control her husband's finances. 4. When a wife is hospitable, she can host her husband's meetings. 5. When a wife is friendly, she becomes her husband's best friend. 6. When a wife is jovial and playful, she can unlock her husband's sad mood. 7. When a wife is appreciative, she receives unexpected gifts from her husband. 8. When a wife is respectful, she can attend her husband's cultural meetings with him. 9. When a wife is understandable, her husband feels free to tell her even the ugly. 10. When a wife is peaceful, her husband comes rushing home each time. 11. When a wife is tender hearted, she makes a great mother for her kids. 12. When a wife is slow tempered, she knows when to approach her husband in times of misunderstandings and arguments. 13. When a wife is not vulnerable, she is loved by her husband. 14. When a wife does not keep secrets from her husband, her husband tells her all of his every moves. 15. When a wife is prayerful, she becomes a powerful support system to her husband. 16. When a wife is God fearing, she sets her home on the principles of God the Almighty. 17. When a wife is selfless, her husband relies completely on her. 18. When a wife is creative, she and the husband can figure out the future together. Unfortunately when you are not any of these, it becomes so hard for you to enjoy marriage. Seek God's help to become any of the above, you can't do it on your own. Greetings to all submissive Women A GOOD WOMAN WILL SURELY BUILDS HER HOME.

The rate of divorces is increasing as both men and women are becoming less tolerant of each other's shortcomings. In the time of the Sahaba, women were deeply committed to their marriages, often viewing their husbands as their leaders. However, in today's world, many women are more demanding, seeking to fulfill every desire they've had since childhood. They treat marriage, a fundamental unit of society, as if it were a joke. Humans are not perfect; compromise is necessary to attain tranquility.

If u want barakah in ur marriage, then spend less on the wedding keep it simple & remember going on honeymoon is an imitation of kuffar: "Having very expensive dowers and extravagant wedding parties is something that goes against the Shariah . The marriage which has the greatest blessing is the one with lesser financial burden. Any time the burdens are lessened, the blessings are increased. This is a matter that is many times caused by women. Women are the ones that often insist upon their husbands to set very high dower [for their daughter]. If a lesser dower is offered, they will say their daughter is deserving of such and such. Furthermore, expensive and luxurious wedding parties are prohibited by the Shariah . they fall under the command of the verse. ''But be not extravagant. Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant ” (Surah Al- Anam 7:141) Again, many times it is the women who force their husbands to do such things. They say that so and so’s party they had this and that. However, such gatherings must be according to the Shariah .The person should not spend what is beyond his means. He must also never be extravagant for Allah has prohibited extravagance. '' Verily, He loves not those who are extravagant .” (Surah Al- Anam 7:141) Honeymoons are WORSE and even MORE EVIL. This is because they are an IMITATION of the non-Muslims. They are a waste of lots of wealth. It also leads to people being lax with respect to their religious duties when such honeymoons take place in non- Muslim areas. The people come back with customs and behaviour that are harmful for them and for the Muslim community . This is something that is to be feared for the Ummah . However there is no harm, Allah Willing, if a man travels with his wife to make Umrah or to visit Madinah" Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Pg. 193-194

Even if a woman wears a Hijab she can't wear perfume. It's forbidden... Never in any circumstances a woman can wear perfume.

Delay electronic devices for ur kids..

If your health betrays you, a good wife will never betray you. So choose well for that day. A good wife is a blessing from Allah SWT

Women used to go out walking infront of men, and this was the Tabarruj of Jahilliyah. And do not Tabarruj yourselves like the Tabarruj of the times of ignorance. When they go out of their homes, walking in a shameless and flirtatious manner, and Allah may He be exalted, forbade that. [Tafsir Ibn Kathir Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse:33] The Prophet ﷺ said: That you don't make Tabarruj (displaying beauty to non-mahram men) like that of Jahilliyah. [Imam Ahmad رحمه الله in his Musnad 2/196 & Ahmad Shaker رحمه الله said: It’s chain of narration is Hasan]

Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said: “Zina is a great evil which can destroy society. It is contrary to the benefit of the global values of preserving lineage, protecting chastity and the sanctity of individuals. It spreads animosity and enmity among people, as committing zina affects other people's wives, mothers, sisters and daughters. It causes destruction to human society, and therefore comes after the evil of killing in terms of the grade of its evil.” 📕 [Spiritual Disease and Its’ Cure | P.180]

❝Some men treat their wives as butlers. They have them only for intercourse and services. They speak to them in a bad way and look down upon them to. They then want the wives to be good to them.❞ — Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymin رحمه الله, ‘al-Liqa’ ash-Shahri’ (No. 40)

If a CHILD tells you they're uncomfortable around an ADULT, LISTEN!!!

Tips when dealing with martial problems: 1- Turn to Allah. 2- Try to solve the problem at home before involving family. 3- Celebrities aren't often the best source of guidance. 4- If you seek advice, consult a trustworthy and experienced person. 5- Understand the religious rulings and seek guidance from Allah's teachings. 6- Don't accept hasty opinions. 7- Beware of troublemakers. 8- Uphold the commitments of marriage, as they are significant. 9- Consider the children and how they'll be affected by family discord. 10- Balance the positives and negatives of your partner. 11- Avoid injustice. 12- Sometimes, the problem can be resolved through overlooking. 13- Remember the reward of patience and compromise. 14- Don't share your problem online. Nikaah is a sacred bond that requires effort, understanding, and patience. By applying these principles, couples can navigate challenges and grow closer to each other and to Allah. With sincere intentions and a commitment to your faith, marital problems can be resolved, leading to a stronger and more harmonious relationship, Bi idhnillah.

The main reason I see for post-marital relationship issues is the system where both male and female work together, whether it's an institution, office, company or a bank. It's natural to be more attracted to something we don't have and it apparently seems more appealing. Once someone starts feeling attracted to someone else, they begin to compare them to their spouse. Consequently, they take their spouse for granted and not value them as much as they did before which becomes reason for conflict and sometimes leads to divorce.

SELECTING A SPOUSE Selection of spouse can be very tasking. It is important to seek knowledge before doing so. Some people who are in dangerous marriages today saw some glaring read flags in persons they were preparing to marry as husband or wife, but they ignored them out of "love", not knowing the real love is in the marriage proper. The message here is: even if introduction has been done, you can still break up with a man or woman if you see some dangerous traits that you may not be able to handle in the marriage based on religious guidance. Don't mind what anyone will say. Some people would be like "what will his or her parent say". Don't marry out of pity and don't be married out of pity. You can price a commodity and notice its defects before paying. You still have the opportunity to return it. Don't pay out of pity except you are sure you can manage it or out of sadaqah. After the nikāh is done, it is not always easy, especially for a woman who values her most precious bodily gift. This is why you should never allow sex or anything close to it to take place anytime before nikāh. Don't taste what is not yours until it is finally yours. Dating is harām in Islām. I will be speaking to our teenagers more on this very soon in sha Allāh. Do your findings very well, and don't compromise the Deen and and its ethics. Then, pray a lot so that Allāh can guide your thoughts and steps.